Help how to be strong with myself?

Honestly I'm the youngest so everything has been literally handed to me. I am terrible confidence issues so that doesn't really help either. People how "awesome" I am, but really I'm a fraud because I don't really know how what kind of future I want for college (Psych but idk if it's good) and life. I am sorta easily influenced because I like trust from other people and I have a hard time determining if they are trustworthy. I'm just retarded in general. I have difficulty making my own decisions and deciding what *I* want. All I know right now at the age of 19 is that I am really desperate for love and I don't want to be so emotionally attached! Honestly, I want to be like everyone else who has been through relationship issues and survived from it. This may sound weird, but I want a relationship lost so I can regroup and get stronger. I don't feel strong at all and I don't know how to get stronger. I have a feeling that I will give myself up to easily in the future . . . .